7244 just for fun....
Once again, The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to
its annual neologism contest, in which readers are asked to supply
alternate meanings for common words.
The winners are:
1. Coffee (n.): the person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted (adj.): appalled over how much
weight you have gained.
3. Abdicate (v.): to give up all hope of ever having
a flat abdomen.
4. Esplanade (v.): to attempt an explanation while
drunk.
5. Willy-nilly (adj.): impotent.
6. Negligent (adj.): describes a condition in which
one absentmindedly answers the door in one's
nightgown.
7. Lymph (v.): to walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle (n.): olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you
up after you are run over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash (n.): a rapidly receding hairline.
11. Test-icle (n) a small humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude (n.): the formal, dignified bearing
adopted by proctologists.
13. Pokemon (n): a Rastafarian proctologist.
14. Oyster (n.): a person who sprinkles his
conversation with Yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism (n.) (back by popular
demand): The belief that when you die, your
Soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent (n.): an opening in the front of
boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.
The Washington Post's Style Invitational also asked readers to take any
word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one
letter, and supply a new definition.
Here are this year's winners:
1. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid
people that stops bright ideas from penetrating.
The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign
of breaking down in the near future.
2. Foreploy (n.): Any misrepresentation about
yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
3. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house,
which renders the subject financially impotent
for an indefinite period.
4. Giraffiti (n): Vandalism spray-painted very, very
high.
5. Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of
sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
6. Inoculatte (v): To take coffee intravenously when
you are running late.
7. Hipatitis (n): Terminal coolness.
8. Osteopornosis (n): A degenerate disease. (This
one got extra credit.)
9. Karmageddon (n): its like, when everybody is
sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And
then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a
serious bummer.
10. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting
through the day consuming only things that are
good for you.
11. Glibido (v): All talk and no action.
12. Dopeler effect (n): The tendency of stupid
ideas to seem smarter when they come at you
rapidly.
13. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance
performed just after you've accidentally walked
through a spider web.
14. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito
that gets into your bedroom at three in the
morning and cannot be cast out.
15. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding
half a grub in the fruit you're eating.
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