8077 Ryanair - ideas for new "optional" charges

OK - dull Autumn day so I went over to our favourite RA to see what "offers" were available. First time I've travelled with them since the new double check-in charge came in so like many have suggested my "optional charges" came to more than the cost of the flight and taxes. Naturally this all allowed RA to advertise my seat at half what I eventually get to pay.

I know we've all had a bit of a rant about validity of these charges so I thought instead for a bit of fun we could think of new "wizard wheezes" for more optional charges for the travelling public;

I don't think we should worry too much about RA learning new tricks from what comes out of this discussion, I'm sure they have at least twenty years of ideas planned out already.

I start the ball rolling therefore with:

- reducing seat sizes for half the plane so you can opt for existing seats at extra fee or end up in smaller uncomfortable seats
- asking passengers to specify their own weight threshold for checking in so lighter people "don't cross subsidise" (favourite RA quote) extra fuel consumption caused by heavier passengers
- banning take on food and drink on board to force you into starvation or buy from the airline
- introducing "no marketing" rows at extra charge where all remaining passengers are subjected to relentless advertising announcements and a compulsory visit from the "gift" trolley
- introducing seat back advertising screens that have near epilepsy inducing flashes every five minutes, which you can switch off for an extra fee
- boarding all passengers in alphabetical order of forename so families and groups always get split up, unless you opt out at an extra fee and buy priority boarding
- charging extra to allow you to take your seatbelt off during the flight, whether to stand up or go to the loo
- put a "pound coin (or one euro fifty...)" operated lock on the toilets
- where airport facilities allow, make normal boarders stand out in the rain / wind / snow until all "priority" boarders have got on the plane (oh no wait that was East Midlands airport a few weeks ago)

I offer it to the forum to exercise your imaginations and remember - just for fun!:laughs: