Words by Bonnie Bates
Medieval castles, ancient villages and candlelit courtyards set the atmosphere for romance in a fairy-tale journey into the past for an unforgettable Italian Wedding. And while hundreds of years have passed since knights in shining armour roamed the Circus Maximus, the echo of ancient Roman Law (see info) governing citizens in the middle ages still rings strong today, and it comes as quite a surprise to couples who choose a Civil Ceremony in Italy that those same articles of Roman Law still define the institution of marriage in a truly modern doctrine for fairness and equal rights and obligations of both spouses.
A very old ritual
The definition of matrimonium or marriage evolved during the Roman Empire (lasting from about 300 BC to 600 AD), and the end result is very different from some of the widely held stereotypes about Italians and matrimony. Here’s a look at some of the clichés through truth and myth ....
Myth: Italians have ‘arranged’ marriages...
TRUTH: Although mutual consent was ignored for a long time in Roman Law, it later became a necessary element of a valid marriage, just as it is today. It is reflected both in the text of the marriage promise which is signed two to three days before the wedding and in the act of matrimony itself which is filed at the town hall registry.
Myth: Italians marry their relatives...
TRUTH: The current articles of no impediment to marriage date back to the Roman Emperor Justinian ( circa 550 AD), and they include marriage forbidden on account of relationship between ascendants and descendants, siblings, relationships by marriage (step-relatives) and adopted persons even after the dissolution of the adoption.
Myth: The ‘year of mourning’ requirement to re-marry applies only to women and so is unfair...
TRUTH: Under Roman Law, both the man and the woman were branded with infamia if marriage was contracted before the period of mourning ended. The modern day application of the 300 day waiting period for women following death of or divorce from a husband is to protect paternity rights of the unborn child in case the woman is pregnant when she divorces or loses her spouse.
Myth: The husband is the boss...
TRUTH: In Roman Law, the term patria potestas gave the husband power over the family with respect to property and protective care of his wife and children. It was later changed to read ‘head of household’ and further updated in 1975 with the new Family Law Reform giving equal rights and responsibilities (‘potesta’ or ‘power’) to both spouses and establishing joint ownership by default unless otherwise decided by the couple through a pre-nuptial agreement.
Myth: Women must take their husband’s surname...
TRUTH: Women keep their maiden name in Italy.
(Yes ladies, you will sign the Wedding Hall Register with your own last name!)
A very civil ceremony
Couples getting legally married in Italy are amazed at the stateliness of the civil ceremony:
‘I didn’t hear a single obey!’
‘I’m surprised that the laws are so fair’
‘Much nicer than our government offices back home!’
These comments were overheard after a recent wedding in Colle Val d’Elsa, a 10th-century medieval village between Florence and Siena. The Celebrant wears the red, white and green sash representing government and recites the articles of law governing the rights and responsibilities of married couples. It is these three articles – numbers 143, 144, and 147 of the Italian Civil Code – that reflect the essence of Roman Law and the Italian Constitution which affirms ‘all citizens have equal social status and are equal before the law, without regard to their sex, race, language, religion, political opinions, and personal or social conditions’. By the way, Happy Birthday to a democratic Italy, celebrating its 60th year as a Republic in 2008!
Feature of a civil ceremony in Italy
Legal Civil Ceremonies are held only in authorized areas or Wedding Halls which are usually the headquarters for local government. The halls symbolize prestige and are decorated with period works of art and furniture, and walls are often frescoed or lined with priceless paintings and tapestries.
Each town establishes a fee schedule for marrying in the Wedding Hall and these are subject to change in January of each year, when the wedding office begins booking dates.
Paperwork requirements include no-impediment documents from the homeland and/or sworn statements/affidavits attesting freedom to marry. All paperwork is submitted to the town hall wedding office upon signing the wedding promise two or three days before the wedding date. Although the paperwork is simple, it is always best to hire a local person to make sure the process goes smoothly. This person may also act as translator for the wedding promise and the wedding ceremony, as required by law. Two witnesses are also required for the wedding ceremony and they sign the official register alongside the bride, the groom and the translator.
Some wedding halls provide music during the ceremony, such as the Red Hall in Florence. Photographers are welcome with a reminder not to point flashbulbs directly at any artwork. Rice and confetti is usually allowed outside the town hall building.
Most Wedding Halls provide a parchment copy of the Marriage Certificate for framing, along with a commemorative gift. Some towns go so far as to offer a toast to the entire wedding party with snacks and great Italian prosecco.
Bonnie Bates is a Wedding Planner for My Weddings & More and she has lived in Italy for over 20 years.
Some information taken from: Burdick, William L. The Principles of Roman Law and Their Relation to Modern Law. Rochester: The Lawyers Co-operative Publishing Co., [1938]. xxi, 748 pp.
